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Do I need a mediator or a lawyer?
A manager recently told me about a situation within his organization. A senior employee had called in sick following a serious conflict with his manager. There were accusations on both sides: the employee felt he had been consistently treated unfairly, while the manager felt he was being obstructed in fulfilling his role.
By Felix Merks, Result ADR
21-7-2026
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The trust was completely gone. The question the manager asked me was one that many leaders will recognize: “Felix, should I involve a lawyer now, or is mediation the better route?”
It is a layered question, and not one that can be answered easily. Because every conflict has two dimensions: a legal layer and a relational layer.
The legal layer
A lawyer specializes in the first layer: rights and obligations. In an employment dispute, this may involve questions such as whether an employee is still entitled to continued salary payments, or what agreements apply when ending an employment contract. A lawyer brings structure to a complex set of rules, clarifies the legal position, and can — if necessary — take the matter to court.
This can be of great value in situations where the issue is truly about legal boundaries. For example, a breach of contract, liability, or a conflict in which the other party refuses to engage in dialogue at all.
The relational layer
Legal arguments, however, are rarely the complete story. In almost every business conflict, the relational layer plays at least an equally important role — and perhaps an even greater one. Is it still possible to work together in the future, and how should that cooperation be shaped? How do we rebuild trust between the parties? And how do we prevent reputational damage or a paralyzing effect on the rest of the team?
To answer these questions, you need a mediator. A mediator is not concerned with winning or losing — within a legal battle — but with restoring the conversation. With making visible the interests and emotions that often remain unspoken. With creating a context in which people, despite anger or disappointment, can once again find a shared solution.
The risk of a single perspective
Managers are often inclined to immediately approach a conflict in legal terms: “What does the contract say?” or “What can I enforce?” This is understandable — contracts provide certainty. But those who look only through this lens risk ignoring the relational layer. And that is often precisely where the real problem lies.
Imagine resolving the employment conflict purely from a legal perspective. You may reach a fair settlement. But in the meantime, the relationship has been permanently damaged, the rest of the team feels unsafe, and distrust spreads throughout the organization. In that case, you may have won legally, but lost strategically.
A strategic choice
The question of whether you need a mediator or a lawyer is therefore not a legal question, but a strategic one. It is about what is at stake for you and your organization.
Do you primarily need protection of rights, clarity regarding contracts, and enforcement of agreements? Then a lawyer is the right choice.
Do you primarily want to restore cooperation, rebuild trust, and safeguard the future? Then mediation is the more appropriate route.
In many cases, the smartest approach is a combination: exploring legal frameworks and boundaries with a lawyer, while working with a mediator on the relationship and the future.
The manager from the story
How did things end for the manager and his employee? Ultimately, they chose mediation. They had conversations in which frustrations were expressed, but also the underlying concerns. They developed a clearer understanding of how things had gone wrong and how they could approach the situation differently. Ultimately, they decided to separate by mutual agreement — with attention to both the human dimension and the legal process.
Afterwards, the manager said: “I am glad I did not immediately choose the legal route. It might have felt faster, but I think we would have ended up in a battle with all the consequences for the team.”
In conclusion
Conflicts are unavoidable. The skill lies not in avoiding them, but in managing them wisely. As a manager, it is important to distinguish between both layers: the legal and the relational. Sometimes you need a lawyer, sometimes a mediator. Often, it is the combination that makes the difference.
The key lies in one simple but crucial question: Do I mainly want to enforce my rights, or do I also want to protect the relationship and the future?
Turn your conflict into an opportunity
Result ADR has the tools and expertise to help guide conflicts towards a constructive resolution. We would be happy to meet with you, either in person or online. Give us a call or leave your details, and we will contact you as soon as possible.